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    • CommentAuthorloreman
    • CommentTimeJan 12th 2019
     
    So did you sign up?
    • CommentAuthorAsterix
    • CommentTimeJan 12th 2019
     
    No--they thought I was too dim.
    •  
      CommentAuthoroak
    • CommentTimeJan 12th 2019
     
    Too bad. Good thing there's this here moletrap!
    • CommentAuthorAsterix
    • CommentTimeJan 28th 2019
     

    Hi ,

    Welcome!

    Thanks for signing up to hear from [REPLACE WITH YOUR COMPANY NAME].

    Now that you're in, here's what you can expect in your inbox.

    You'll get updates with the latest [REPLACE WITH THE CONTENT YOU WILL BE SENDING]. You'll also get exclusive [REPLACE WITH ADDITIONAL EXCLUSIVE BENEFITS].

    To ensure you never miss an email from us, be sure to whitelist our email address by adding us to your address book!

    If you have any questions or feedback, don't hesitate to reply to this email.

    Thanks again!

    [REPLACE WITH YOUR NAME]

    5 Danton Ln S
    Locust Valley NY 11560
    USA


    Strange--the address is an upscale ($2M) McMansion residence belonging to a 70-year old woman.
    • CommentAuthorAsterix
    • CommentTimeFeb 27th 2019
     
    From - Wed Feb 27 12:39:52 2019
    X-Account-Key: account5
    X-UIDL: 000002bf593b7e59
    X-Mozilla-Status: 0001
    X-Mozilla-Status2: 00000000
    X-Mozilla-Keys:
    Received: from pop.secureserver.net [72.167.218.138]
    by localhost with POP3 (fetchmail-6.3.26)
    for xxxxxxxx (single-drop); Wed, 27 Feb 2019 06:22:58 -0800 (PST)
    Received: (qmail 21498 invoked by uid 30297); 27 Feb 2019 14:19:49 -0000
    Received: from unknown (HELO p3plibsmtp01-10.prod.phx3.secureserver.net) ([72.167.238.226])
    (envelope-sender <helpdesk@iss.es>)
    by p3plsmtp10-06-25.prod.phx3.secureserver.net (qmail-1.03) with SMTP
    for xxxxxxx; 27 Feb 2019 14:19:49 -0000
    Received: from mail.iss.es ([213.99.21.39])
    by bizsmtp with ESMTP
    id z03nghDDsRLmXz03ogfWQg; Wed, 27 Feb 2019 07:19:49 -0700
    Received: from localhost (localhost.localdomain [127.0.0.1])
    by mail.iss.es (Postfix) with ESMTP id DB4D46BD628;
    Wed, 27 Feb 2019 15:13:02 +0100 (CET)
    Received: from mail.iss.es ([127.0.0.1])
    by localhost (mail.iss.es [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024)
    with ESMTP id qsWhDhB-1EPd; Wed, 27 Feb 2019 15:13:02 +0100 (CET)
    Received: from mail.iss.es (mail.iss.es [192.168.168.12])
    by mail.iss.es (Postfix) with ESMTP id D0A3C4FE37F;
    Wed, 27 Feb 2019 15:12:55 +0100 (CET)
    Date: Wed, 27 Feb 2019 15:12:55 +0100 (CET)
    From: "Mr. Louis Richard Smith" <helpdesk@iss.es>
    Reply-To: "Mr. Louis Richard Smith" <rrichardsrichards@yahoo.com>
    Message-ID: <2021637316.24631551276775846.JavaMail.root@mail.iss.es>
    Subject: Hello Good Day, How is your famliy
    MIME-Version: 1.0
    Content-Type: text/plain; charset=utf-8
    Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
    X-Originating-IP: [129.205.113.51]
    X-Mailer: Zimbra 5.0.14_GA_2850.RHEL5_64 (zclient/5.0.14_GA_2850.RHEL5_64)
    To: undisclosed-recipients:;
    X-CMAE-Envelope: MS4wfGHU3qRZ0vsYGnQMzPEu9cGfMF+T4Dgf60gJ4nPB6izUmzk6Tphz0vBNdiuA+h/55k6MO8/8eyiCvdLkM8Z9Imd/nCuNW1PY9CKWb389dNkAVUTKAw0D
    qoqsonhYYQF+BSX6B3Zm49hIIvMAB13b+JeHt6TP2fdfk7uD3sms7A8Q
    X-Nonspam: None

    Attention,

    With reference to the meeting held this morning among members of my organization and the board of directors here. We have resolved to release this fund to you through a Certified Bank Draft. Which will be collected by you upon the confirmation of your willingness to work with us, so you are here by advised to confirm and indicate your readiness to receive your approved fund through Certified Bank Draft or any other way you may chose best..

    We want you to know that the Reason why we choose this mode of payment was because we need everything to be transparent, let all the approved beneficiary know that we are one of the best because we have proven our credibility in the international and local fund release and our services speaks for itself which is Our Philosophy , Our Vision, Mission, and Purpose.

    Remember, Our vision, our mission, and our statement of purpose help to articulate how those values guide our relationships with all approved beneficiaries including you.

    You are here by advised to contact us for further details over your part payment Funds ($8.5musd) Eight Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars Only, we will need your full information as enable us commence process

    Yours in Service.

    Mr. Louis Richard Smith

    Deputy Director Finance and Governance,
    International Committee on Compensation Fund Release
    Dept. Management Team.
    Switzerland.
    Email: rrichardsrichards@yahoo.com


    I assume that the sender is from metropolitan Madrid in Switzerland...
    • CommentAuthorloreman
    • CommentTimeFeb 27th 2019 edited
     
    A Masterpiece of Random capitalization
  1.  
    Hm. Someone rather well known does that too. Criminality-capitalisation link confirmed?
    • CommentAuthorAsterix
    • CommentTimeFeb 28th 2019
     
    Posted By: Andrew PalfreymanHm. Someone rather well known does that too. Criminality-capitalisation link confirmed?


    I wonder if it's just a custom in some nations, e.g. Nigeria. (No, I'm not counting non-English speakers).
    • CommentAuthorAsterix
    • CommentTimeMar 11th 2019
     

    Notification of Your Loaded ATM VISA Card Is Ready

    We hereby officially notifying you about the present arrangement to
    pay you, your over due Winning Prize/inheritance fund which you could
    not complete the process of
    the released of your transfer pin code through the Digitized Payment
    System. and you have spend a lot of money and a lot time sending money
    to different people just to
    make sure you receive your fund and after set and done you received
    nothing. We have decided to pay your funds through (ATM VISA Card)
    This arrangement was initiated /constituted by the World Bank, United
    Nation and Paris, due to fraudulent activities going on within the
    world.

    The World Bank, United Nations and Paris introduced this payment
    arrangement as to enable our Contract ,Winning Prize,inheritance
    beneficiary to receive their
    fund without any interference. the ATM VISA Card was contracted and
    powered by GOLD CARD WORLD WIDE. The ATM VISA CARD is credited with
    the sum of$10,000.000.00 USD(TEN Million United State Dollars), it is
    already loaded in the Master Card which you can use to access your
    fund in any ATM Stand/location worldwide and remember that the maximum
    withdrawal daily limit is Ten Thousand United States
    Dollars(US$10,000.00)we have concluded delivery arrangement with the
    below courier services companies and their delivery time is stated
    below.

    UPS=48hrs/$330
    FedEx=72hrs/$250
    DHL=4days/$175

    Note that you will pay the delivery fee of your ATM VISA Card with any
    of the above courier company of your choice before the delivery will
    take place to your destination address this fee is most.

    Kindly provide me with the below details in your response to this
    email and let me know which courier company you would want us to use
    for the shipment of your ATM

    VISA Card to you.

    1. Valid Delivery Address:
    2. Full Names:
    3. Phone Number:
    4. Occupation:
    5. Age:
    6. Sex:

    CONGRATULATIONS IN ADVANCE.

    BEST REGARDS,
    MIKE IBEFUNA
    Director Foreign Remittance Department
    United Bank for Africa (UBA) Bank Benin Plc

    (mikeibefuna@gmail.com )
  2.  
  3.  
    Quoted By: Asterixfraudulent activities going on within the
    world.


    It's really hard for me to believe that any English speaker would ever fall for this particular instantiation of the Nigerian scam. That first "sentence" is hilarious and should be used as an example for discussion in a 10th grade English class.

    And if anyone thinks DHL can actually deliver an ATM card across the world in four days for 175 dollars... hasn't dealt with DHL lately. It will take them that long just to post a tracking number. I strongly recommend spending a little more for the FedEx delivery.
  4.  
    Yabut 41.8% (538.com today) think Turd is just fine and dandy. So it's not hard for me at all.
  5.  
    I finally got one! This is my first! (It was correctly placed in my Spam folder by gmail)


    Dear Friend,

    I saw your email from searching engine and I decided to contact you urgent for this great opportunity between me and you, permit me to introduce myself to you, I am a captain with the United Nations troop Kabul Afghanistan, on war against terrorism. Based on the United States legislative and executive decision for withdrawing troops from Afghanistan come next year, I have been deployed to come and work in your state on military base soonest. Our mission is to help beef up terrorist targeted states, mostly on the war against terrorism and I will need a house for myself & that is why I contacted you.

    On the other hand I want to inform you that I have in my possession the sum of US$45.5Million Which I got from crude oil deal here in Afghanistan. I deposited this money with a Red Cross agent informing him that we are making contact for the real owner of the money. And It is under my power to approve whoever that comes forth for this consignment. I want to invest the money in your state as soon as I am deployed into your state for a good business, anyway you will advice me on that since I am not a business person. so I need someone I could trust. If you accepted I will be smuggle to transfer the money to your state where you will be the beneficiary. I am a uniformed person and I cannot be parading such an amount, so I need to present someone to stand as the recipient. I am an American and an intelligence officer and for that so I have a 100% authentic means of transferring the money through diplomatic courier service. I just need your acceptance and all is done.

    Please if you are interested in this transaction I will give to you the complete details that you need for us to carry out this transaction successfully, I decided to find someone that is for real and not imaginary and that is why I went to a secured web site, where I can be sure that the person is real. I believe I can trust you. Where we are now we can only communicate through our military communication facilities which is secured so nobody can monitor our emails, then I can explain in details to you will only reach you through email, because our calls might be monitored but have to be sure whom I am dealing with.
    If you are interested please get back to me. I am out of our military network am writing from a fresh email account so if you are not interested do not reply to this email and please delete this message, if not response after 3days I will then search for someone else.

    I wait for your contact details so we can go on. I will give you 40% of the sum and 60% is for me. I hope I am been fair on this deal.

    Get back to me with your full information:

    YOUR FULL NAME:
    YOUR FULL ADDRESS:
    YOUR DIRECT TELEPHONE NUMBER:

    Best regards,

    Capt. Patrick Williams
    US ARMY
    Kabul Afghanistan
    Email: capt.patrickwilliams74@gmail.com
  6.  
    I got a letter from the President! He wants to give me a bunch of money!

    ATTENTION MY DEAR BENEFICIARY

    ASSIGNED BY THE PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP OVERDUE FUND RELEASED TODAY

    I am MR,PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP and I am writing to inform you about your Bank Check Draft brought back by the United Embassy from the government of Benin Republic in the white house Washington DC been mandated to be deliver to your home address once you reconfirm it with the one we have here with us to avoid wrong delivery of your check draft Eighteen million united states dollars $18,000,000,00usd that was assigned to be delivered to your humble home address by Honorable president Donald Trump the president of this great country this week by a FEdex delivery Agent Also reconfirm your details for the check delivery by filling the form below and send it immediately to our Email:in for verification and for prompt collection of your fund.

    Fill The Form Below:

    1.Currant Name:...............................
    2.Address:......................................
    3.Nationality:..................................
    4.Age:..........................................
    Date of Birth:..................................
    5.Occupation:...................................
    6.Phone:........................................
    Mobile:.............:...........................
    7.State of Origin:..............................
    Country:........................................
    8.Copy of your Identity Card...................
    Accept my hearty congratulation again!

    Yours Sincerely,
    MR DONALD JOHN TRUMP
    president USA
    1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW,
    Washington, DC 20500, United States
    •  
      CommentAuthorAngus
    • CommentTimeMar 21st 2019
     
    Oh shoot! Al's been bribed to help MAGA.
    •  
      CommentAuthorDuracell
    • CommentTimeMar 21st 2019
     
    The English is too good. Trump would never be that coherent and articulate.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAngus
    • CommentTimeMar 21st 2019
     
    I guess you're right. That first sentence is longer than Manafort's.
  7.  
    M aking
    A frica
    G reat
    A gain
    seems like a worthy goal to me.
    • CommentAuthorAsterix
    • CommentTimeMar 27th 2019
     
    Lately, I've been getting robocalls in Mandarin. CID says it's in Sausalito.

    I suppose the day has come when phone-carpet-bombing in a foreign language in hopes of finding the odd customer is economically viable.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAngus
    • CommentTimeMar 27th 2019
     
    It indicates who might have some money. I wonder if robocalls in Ojibway will ever become worthwhile.