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  1.  
    Posted By: Angus
    Posted By: skepticalA baby seal walks into a bar.
    "What can I get you?" asks the bartender.
    "Anything but a Canadian Club" replies the seal.


    Hey! My very first Canadian joke!


    No, no, no. The joke is like this (not so Canadian unfortunately)...


    A baby seal walks into a club.
    •  
      CommentAuthorThicket
    • CommentTimeDec 9th 2009
     
    @BOR

    Cool. I first heard the joke about 35 years ago while at university.
    •  
      CommentAuthorthebadger
    • CommentTimeDec 9th 2009
     
    A piece of string walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Barman replies "Sorry, we don't serve string, get out!"

    So the piece of string goes off, thinks for a bit, then tangles himself up and rolls around to make himself really scruffy and goes back into the bar.

    The barman sees him and says - "Hey - I know you - You're a piece of string aren't you?"

    The piece of string replies - "No, I'm afraid not"
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      CommentAuthorthebadger
    • CommentTimeDec 9th 2009
     
    Posted By: Crastneytwo fish in a tank, one says "how the fuck do you drive this thing?"

    two birds sat on a perch, one says "Can you smell fish?"

    two cannibals eating clown soup, one says "does this taste funny to you?"

    I used to be an archaeologist, we were on a dig once, and thought we'd found a snowman's graveyard - turned out it was just a field of carrots.


    I don't know if you spotted the theme Crastney - it was "walk into a bar" jokes, not things you pulled out of a cracker" jokes. But then pattern recognition never has been your strong point.
    • CommentAuthorCrastney
    • CommentTimeDec 9th 2009
     
    I didn't realise that there was a theme - unless it was 'telling crap jokes that aren't funny'

    my mistake - I apologise.

    a badger walks into a bar, and asks for a pint of beer
    the barman says "fuck me! a talking badger! ...... probably spreading TB as well!"
    he pulls out a shotgun from under the counter, and shoots the badger dead.
    •  
      CommentAuthorcouldbe
    • CommentTimeDec 9th 2009
     
    Posted By: CrastneyI didn't realise that there was a theme - unless it was 'telling crap jokes that aren't funny'

    my mistake - I apologise.

    a badger walks into a bar, and asks for a pint of beer
    the barman says "fuck me! a talking badger! ...... probably spreading TB as well!"
    he pulls out a shotgun from under the counter, and shoots the badger dead.


    LOL.
    That is the funniest joke in this thread.
    •  
      CommentAuthorGrimer
    • CommentTimeDec 9th 2009
     
    Posted By: thebadgerA piece of string walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Barman replies "Sorry, we don't serve string, get out!"

    So the piece of string goes off, thinks for a bit, then tangles himself up and rolls around to make himself really scruffy and goes back into the bar.

    The barman sees him and says - "Hey - I know you - You're a piece of string aren't you?"

    The piece of string replies - "No, I'm afraid not"
    I must need a humour injection. It took me quite a time to see a frayed knot. Still it is more satisfying in a way when it takes some time to see the joke - even if you do feel a bit slow. Good one.
  2.  
    crastney! You put down the badger :)
    • CommentAuthorCrastney
    • CommentTimeDec 9th 2009
     
    Health and Safety. You can't have talking badgers running round pubs spreading dirty TB everywhere.
    had to be done. safest thing all around.
    •  
      CommentAuthorthebadger
    • CommentTimeDec 9th 2009 edited
     
    Posted By: Terry Linglecrastney! You put down the badger :)


    Nobody puts down the badger!

    •  
      CommentAuthorGrimer
    • CommentTimeDec 9th 2009 edited
     
    Posted By: thebadger
    Posted By: Terry Linglecrastney! You put down the badger :)


    Nobody puts down the badger!





    Oh no?
    •  
      CommentAuthorthebadger
    • CommentTimeDec 9th 2009
     
    Posted By: Grimer

    Oh no?


    Poor uncle Frankie (as we called him)

    We told him that he couldn't defeat gravity and levitate across the road, but he wouldn't listen. He insisted that using some waterwheel contraption he could harness the Epsilon atmosphere and fly - but look what happened!
  3.  
    Hey, I've got a grreat chili recipe.
    http://home.flash.net/~rockware/chili.html

    "Grind up 4 pounds of fresh road-kill. (Note: sometimes, due to the condition of the road-kill, grinding up may not be necessary). Just about anything is acceptable (armadillo, rabbit, possum, chicken, unidentified...), but stay away from skunks since their odoriferousnous may have a negative effect on the final result. If you live in an area where there's not much highway traffic, or where urbanization has scared off all the critters and your neighbors keep their pets indoors, then you can use (all) the following meat as a substitute: "

    Etc.
  4.  
    Posted By: MorgensterGood, but what about the pressure on the extruding part of your cylinder? Again you're leaving that part of the equation out. Pressure from the liquid to push the cylinder out will definitely increase when airpressure on the liquid increases, but the extruding part of your object (cylinder, iceberg, whatever)is exposed to the increased airpressure pushing it back down. The net result will look just the same.
    I don't think it will, quite. You do realise I'm only talking about a tiny difference here? If my calculations are right, an iceberg which has a tonne of ice above the waterline will only have maybe an extra fifty grams showing, barring extreme variations in pressure.